Pastor Michael Tucker is the founder of 21st Century Ministries, a non profit organization which supports pastors, churches and hurting people. In his journey of comforting, counseling and assisting individuals and families in pain, he has gained some significant insights that could really help you and your family, or tips to use as you try to give others a hand.
Following are some of his insights excerpted from his newsletter:
1. Most families are much, much too busy. People are so busy that they don't have time for the development of good relationships in the family. Parents need to learn to say "no" to good things for their children. Let each child help select 1-3 activities/sports outside the home. But each child being involved in four or more activities causes too much stress and frustration to the entire family.
2. Many couples have no understanding of how to spend time together. Watching TV together doesn't count as family time. Lots of people are so engaged with sports, exercise and hobbies that they have no time left for a husband or wife.
3. It is a mistake not to include weekly worship in the family schedule. Some people treat church attendance like attendance at a concert. They go occasionally, but they are not committed to the church. Children in these families learn that church attendance is not very important4. Raising children is increasingly difficult after a divorce. In most cases, economic problems and custody/visitation issues dominate the parents' lives following a marriage break-up. People sob out their stories of ex-spouses and step-parents taking their children to R-rated movies and unacceptable religious meetings. Christian parents must endure watching their kids live part-time with adults who curse and practice unbiblical values.
Many people say that their family is the most important thing in their lives. But in reality they live as though their job or their own personal pleasures are far more important. Investing in your marriage and family takes lots of time and tremendous effort. But the result is so rewarding and fulfilling.
Pastor Tucker suggests that If you are struggling in your marriage or having difficulty with your children, take the following steps:
- Examine your priorities
- Be sure that God is central in your life, marriage and family.
- Take responsibility for your own happiness. Don't expect another person to do what only God can do.
- Get help! There are many good Christian counselors and pastors who can give you assistance.
PS I am overwhelmingly thankful for those who read these posts and send me encouraging notes to keep me at it.
*Please send Mike Tucker a note of gratitude, ask him a question or contribute to his ministry so he can continue helping others. He can be reached @ MichaelTuc@aol.com or www.21stCenturyMinistries.org.