Diane Markins
Recently a friend and I were catching up. Through the course of the conversation the topic somehow drifted to our “bad old ways.” My friend began to tell me about one of his coworkers who liked to spend time and money at strip clubs. As he went on he also informed me that this friend of his was a “cheating bastard”. He told stories of infidelity and the heartache that accompanied it with an almost gleeful look in his eyes. It’s the same sort of look you see in the TV version of a middle-aged “redneck” from the Deep South. (You know the guy... he has a big beer belly. When he’s bragging about the engine in his hot rod he sticks his thumbs down the inside of his belt, proceeds to hike up his britches and sway back and forth on his feet.) The smile on his face was the same smile pasted on my friend’s face. It was pride. The part of the conversation that really left its mark on me was when he said the words, “I guess boys will be boys.”
“Boys will be boys”…
by Jeff Markins
We have taken a harmless phrase and exploited it. This phrase was invented to justify a little boy’s behavior when he wanted to jump from the roof into the swimming pool or see how fast he could ride his bike down a hill. Grown men and women have become masters of the art of justification. Instead of growing up into respectable men these little boys have learned that they can get away with anything if they simply say, “You might not agree with it, but it’s just the way men are.” Have we forgotten that there is a clear right and a clear wrong? You cannot blatantly cross the line and expect people to treat you like a real, stand up man even if you justify and make excuses.
There is nothing inherently wrong with a little boy who likes to ride his bike really fast or wants to jump off the roof into the pool. They might not always be the smartest things to do, but they’re not sinful. Men who use the same excuse to cheat on their wives, gamble, drink heavily, look at porn, or squander the family’s money have chosen to not only admit they’ve never grown up, but also that there is absolutely no authority in their life. Men like this cannot be trusted.
Emerson Eggerichs talks about the difference in the way men and women are wired in his book Love and Respect. His theory is that men experience life in “blue” and women experience life in “pink”. The basic idea is that the same words are interpreted differently, messages are communicated differently and so on depending on who is receiving it; blue or pink. Most men will never understand why it’s important to a woman to spend two hours getting ready for a church service that only lasts for one hour or eat ice cream and chocolate when they get upset. By the same token most women will never understand why men will spend countless hours working on a project they know they can’t accomplish. Boys will just be boys!!
Just because we don’t understand each other doesn’t mean either of us are doing anything wrong. But when we start to justify our harmful, sinful behavior by telling people that our actions are simply “not something they understand,” and therefore acceptable, we distort everything about who God created us to be.
www.StandUpClothing.com/blog
Jeff Markins, through Stand Up Clothing shows young men how to be the men God created them to be; TRUE Biblical masculinity. He believes that every man was created to serve, lead, provide, protect and be reliable, loyal, and strong.
Men don't have exclusive rights to justifying bad choices. Can you relate? Have you ever justified or rationalized some of the things you do or know someone else who does? Share your thoughts. Diane
