Got Gift? Meaningful Giving Tips

A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver. Thomas Kempis, author


“What do you want for Christmas?” We all ask it and we all have to answer it; every year. For many years my husband has told our entire family that he’d prefer not to receive gifts, but no one accepts that. They keep spending their hard-earned cash on funny T shirts or cool gadgets for him. They struggle each year complaining about how hard it is to find something he’ll enjoy, but the gifts keep coming.

As much as he appreciates the reason for the presents (their love and affection for him) he dislikes the waste more. He would prefer our loved ones save their money for a rainy day or put a portion of what they’d spend on his spiffy new air compressor or LED light toward feeding orphans and widows in Mexico or Zimbabwe.

Don’t get me wrong, he enjoys his custom wireless mouse and gift certificates to nice restaurants, but laments that, “Next year, or even in three months I’ll never remember who gave me what…this will all be forgotten.”

But why is no one listening to him, or at least not taking him seriously? Partly because we’ve all learned the same trite response to the afore-mentioned question: “I can’t think of a thing” or “You don’t have to do that.” Mostly though, it’s because they love him and can’t bear not showing it through this time-honored tradition.

For many, especially children, Christmas and Hanukah are all about the loot. We talk a good game about how commercial it all is and that we’re going to “scale back this year” but evidence is to the contrary. Americans go deeper in debt and rush to join the buying frenzy each year for fear of…of what? Having our friends and family doubt that we care about them? Appearing to not be generous or thoughtful? If those things haven’t been demonstrated throughout the year in many other ways, a shiny new toy isn’t going to prove anything.

My husband is fortunate to be surrounded by people who express their love in countless ways all year long and he reciprocates. This is effortless and authentic in contrast to the contrived (compulsory?) exchange during the holidays.

Yeah, I know, I sound like a true Scrooge. A holiday buzz-kill. This is not my intention. My purpose is to remind that love, kindness and generosity—what we call the “holiday spirit” should encompass every day of our lives. Gift away, but don’t go broke doing it and don’t do it to prove anything.

More importantly, incorporate a new tradition of giving to those you don’t know who may truly not have a holiday meal or single present for their children. There are many options for this but one of the best is the Salvation Army. Mail them a check, or better yet, let your kids put some cash in the kettle every time you encounter a bell-ringer. And don’t just give your money, engage in the sacrifice of serving. Volunteer (with your kids or grandkids by your side) to ring a bell at the supermarket, work at the mall to help the Angel Tree project, or serve Christmas dinner.

Mental health experts say this is a great way to battle seasonal depression. Have I reinstated your holiday high? I hope so because ‘tis the season. Again.
For more information or to contact the Salvation Army call Danielle Moore, 602-267-4117, danielle.moore@usw.salvationarmy.org

Any other creative giving suggestions?
Diane Markins